the love for life is all hatred in disguise.

untitled.

2011-04-24T02:27:00.005+08:00

embrace the numbness.
where everything spins out of control.
but you know you want more.
i want more.

that girl.

2011-03-26T17:19:00.003+08:00

i don't need that girl by my side
i don't need that girl in my life
i don't wanna talk it out or hold when she cries
i don't wanna say she's my kind
i don't wanna say that she's mine
i don't wanna tell her that i love her more than life
more than a life

but it would be wrong for me to say this.

he said.

2011-03-14T03:25:00.002+08:00

"girl can i tell you a wonderful thing ?
i made you a present with paper and string
open with care now i'm asking you please
you know that i love you, will you marry me ?"

inner mask.

2011-03-12T02:58:00.002+08:00

it's that guy inside that's had to deal with every

little bit of pain in your life.

the guy you choose to put forward and it's like,

"you deal with this because i can't handle this".

corey taylor

lights out.

2011-03-11T01:17:00.002+08:00

music; pure solace.
escape.

the song ends.
everything goes numb.

reality check.
everything's back to where it was.

nothing's changed.

food for thought.

2011-03-06T00:05:00.003+08:00

he bathes in his past.
succumb to helplessness.
plagued by memories so bitter.

he strays away from the negativity,
only for it to haunt him when the sun decides to sleep.
the moon stands in cahoots with the stars;
providing a caricature of serenity.

misleading thoughts, heavy hearts.
manifests.

slowly; oblivion.

let love bleed red.

2011-02-08T00:19:00.002+08:00

i realised now, maybe a tad too late, but i realised;

that i was being too self centered.
that i did not take into account how you really felt.
that i let you down way too many times.
that i should've treated you way better.

i'd give my life to make it right.

i miss you.
i am a total wreck without you.
i love you.

the last something that meant anything.

2010-10-09T04:06:00.002+08:00

shocked. surprised. appalled. crestfallen. scared to death.

and the worst part; it shows.

i've never been a fan of good byes.
a melancholy affair.
such disconsolate state.

then it came.
the words i dread to hear even in my wildest dreams.
maybe there's a reason for everything.
i'm sure you had yours.

and so, it did rain on my parade.
a masquerade, it ain't.

and this empty space left in the seat to my right
where you should be says a lot.

2010-09-29T20:13:00.002+08:00

she'd sworn me vows in fragrant blood,

"never to part Lest jealous
Heavens stole our hearts"

then this i screamed,

"come back to Me for I was born
in love with Thee so why should
Fate stand in between"

if you wanted a song written about you, all you had to do was ask.

2010-09-04T03:12:00.003+08:00

funny how things people say always seem to come around
and kick them straight where it hurts.

cliche ?
perhaps.
but it's true i guess.
well, at least that's what i think.

and one more thing.
the heart is a funny thing.
it has place for only one, apparently.
but it can somehow manage to squeeze another into the picture.
and you said it was impossible ?
amusing much.

hidup mesti mahu gentle, bro.

ingat.

2010-06-04T14:14:00.003+08:00

fuck you, life.

hiatus,
fuck you all.

#2.

2010-05-28T15:19:00.002+08:00

paul gray, you will never be forgotten. rest in peace.

the nine will never be the same without you.

in case anyone cared.

2010-03-07T08:30:00.004+08:00

let's start off with one bad thing.
the weather's not being very nice.
the heat's killing every single one of my brain cells.
please make it rain, yea ?

enough lamenting on something that we can't do anything about.
on the flip side, the much overdued outing with the boys was gerek.
so much fun, so much laughter.
i need more of those.

kita gerek!

spring cleaning.

2010-01-10T01:01:00.004+08:00

well, hello.
it has been a while, huh.

weeks flew by in a blink of an eye.
cliche, whatever.

week 6 approaching.
it's going by fast.
one thing i ask; please make it rain more often.
thank you very nice.

so many people i haven't caught up with.
apologies if it was any fault of mine.
but please, meet up soon yea.

and i know this is WAY too outdated, but happy 2010.
let's all hope 2010 will be kind to us all.

tough days don't last;

tough guys do.

thank you, all.

2009-11-16T02:22:00.009+08:00

and not forgetting, you.

thank you all for organising the surprise party.

i was indeed, surprised.

take care, all of you.

and thanks once again.

i wish i could turn the clock faster.

i miss you.

my only reason.

2009-11-10T04:24:00.004+08:00

when the moon starts to give me reasons to cry
you're my only reason to smile
even when the stars would not show
you'd still be there, shining brighter than any star ever could
you taught me to fly, and not be afraid to fall
cause we'll make it after all

even when they say failure's all i'll find
i'm not afraid to see the end
because i know you'll be there
and you make everything else make sense

the sunset could never melt my heart the way you could
you're like wings that keep my heart in the clouds
singing melodies that even god would be proud of
so keep singing all night long
i'd like to hear your voice again

if it rains on my parade
tomorrow will still shine again
even the day must give way to the night
keep singing the melody
for what it's worth,
you mean everything to me.

yatassha.

2009-11-03T22:30:00.002+08:00

happy 19th birthday yat!

may you achieve all your hopes & dreams. (:

all that will be left are memories.

2009-10-21T01:33:00.003+08:00

people tend to think too much.
and that's killing one too many brain cells.
it's plain simple to over-think stuff,
when in actual fact, it does not require all that trouble.

the problem is that when people think of what they
perceive as a problem, they tend to stray and think of their other problems.
that will then catapult them into problemville.

emotions get in the way as well,
the downside of being humans.

so take a little breather,
rest your head,
clear those unhappy thoughts for now.

because before too long,
everything will be just a memory.

if i'd wanted a song about me;

i'd write it myself.

movie & mini celebration.

2009-10-12T23:39:00.002+08:00

fyi, this all happened on the 9th of october.

i miss going to class and seeing

every single one of the "doobtootz".

it's been fun while it lasted,

and i do hope there's more to come.

ell-oh-vee-e.

2009-10-06T03:04:00.003+08:00

first and foremost, happy belated birthday to nadiah.

sorry eh lambat.

but at least i remembered right. (:
secondly, raye was fun laa. (:
years have gone, yet here we are;

still together.

no matter what happens,

i am proud to have the honour

of calling you guys,

my friends.

the ugly truth.

2009-09-30T02:19:00.001+08:00

girl : why do you love me ?

boy : it beats the shit out of me; but i do.

happy 21st month anniversary.

2009-09-25T00:39:00.002+08:00

photographs are all that gets me through missing you.

remembering the times we kept the stars company.

when the moon would smile all night.

for i know that none could compare to you.

dear Hizwani,

you are my shining light.

i don't wanna grow up.

2009-09-22T00:10:00.003+08:00

being grown up entitles you to less green packets.
damn you little kids.
i kid, i kid.

outing with the guys is much anticipated.
we'll hope everything will go smooth.
can't wait, seriously.

jason & daniel lancaster, i adore.

dear love, i miss you,

much.

so it seems.

2009-09-20T04:26:00.003+08:00

hari raya has come, quite quickly i might add.
so apologies are in order i guess.
i'd like to apologise if i ever hurt anyone's feelings, be it intentionally or not.
i'm but only human.

that aside, let the festivities begin ?

she'd sworn me vows in fragrant blood,

"never to part lest jealous heaven stole our hearts".

for what it's worth.

2009-09-18T02:10:00.006+08:00

some might say that it's better late than never; so here it is.

happy belated birthdays to Rachel (1st september),

Ammar (10th september) & Haikel (12th september).

so, Hari Raya's in 2 days' time.

some say that it doesn't feel like hari raya this year.

what counts as "feeling that it's hari raya" ?

i do wonder.

but in any case, it's coming; deal with it.

it's very much a funny phenomenon that

we're all interlinked one way

or the other.

weird.

i don't like thinking too much.

it kills the brain cells.

hiatus; maybe.

2009-09-08T02:51:00.003+08:00

fasting's been okay.
it's come to a point where it's become a regularity.
pink's the colour this year, if anybody wondered.

left4dead is awesome.
more gaming sessions is much loved.
oh, not forgetting pool as well.

time flies, like it's on steroids.
Hari Raya's round the corner.
green packets seem a little childish now.
but i wouldn't mind getting some.

sometimes, we just have to have fun and not think too much,
cause thinking kills brain cells.

tell me why my little mona lisa lied.

2009-08-20T05:51:00.000+08:00

fasting's right around the corner;
two more days to be exact.
time flies, it really does.
i miss secondary school.
not so much the lessons, but the atmosphere as a whole.
it's somewhat, strangely enough though, inviting and safe.
bonds were made and shared.
coming to school was fun.

now look how they've grown up.
schooling in tertiaries, working, serving the nation
and some even starting a family.
it was not too long ago when we did not really bothered
about this thing called, "future".
now, it seems that it's inevitable that "future" is
synonymous with our lives.

in an ideal world, i'd hope to work and settle down
after serving the nation.
have my own family, and just enjoy life for the simple pleasures.
is that possible ?
we'll see; we'll see.

dina.

2009-08-16T02:34:00.006+08:00

by right, it's totally fine; unfortunately, i'm heading left.

three's fine by us.

2009-08-11T01:03:00.004+08:00

so, the big plan was not meant to be.
oh well.
but anyways, we made the best out of it.

pool was fun.
random uncle on the bus was hilarious.
haagen-dazs caused some major gastronomical orgasms.
tony from haagen-dazs was great.
and lef4dead was simply awesome.

at the end of the day,

three's fine by us.

it's back.

2009-08-08T00:51:00.003+08:00

it's back, i think.
felt some stuff that hasn't been felt in quite a while.
it feels good, i should add.

miss hanging out with doobtootz.
hang out soon okay. (:

miss jamming, a lot.
jam soon, please.

the love for life is all hatred in disguise.

happy birthday amirul.

2009-07-30T00:01:00.000+08:00

have fun in camp. haha.

take care.

me & swine.

2009-07-21T00:05:00.003+08:00

so many things have happened.
blogger's not being very nice.
oh maybe, i'm the knucklehead.
i don't know.
but whatever the case, i still
have issues with technology; as always.

me = eat, sleep, eat, sleep.
swine = eat, sleep, eat, sleep.

me = swine.

that sucks.

happy birthday shazni.

2009-07-14T00:38:00.004+08:00

let's hang out soon.

it's been way too long.

overdue.

2009-07-13T06:00:00.005+08:00

youthGIG was fun. another great

event this time round.

we are L.A.M.

p.s: happy birthday khidir. (:

here we go again.

2009-07-09T23:56:00.002+08:00

well, tomorrow's the day.
youth gig 2009.
a little anxious, i must say.
let's hope the P.A system works this time round.
fingers crossed.

p.s: bye mirul. have fun in camp. haha.

you can put the blame on me.

2009-07-03T23:21:00.005+08:00

no one is perfect;
get over it.

happy birthday syq.

2009-06-30T00:00:00.003+08:00

happy birthday syq!

you are one annoyingly

cute 16 year old girl.

haha.

anyways,

all the best in whatever

you choose to do

in life. (:

written in the stars.

2009-06-29T00:49:00.006+08:00

was listening to a song when all of a sudden, it triggered past memories.
so sudden, so strange.
memories so vivid, like it was only yesterday.
it dated back to when times were
more simple.
when we didn't have to worry about the future.
when going to school was more of
hanging out with friends.
the schoolboy crushes.
playing soccer after school.
it was simple back then.

i don't wanna grow up.

happy birthday hidayah.

2009-06-26T01:58:00.006+08:00

happy birthday. (:

21 years old spell

L-E-G-A-L

may all your hopes & wishes come true.

happy 18th month anniversary.

2009-06-25T15:26:00.002+08:00

may i say i love you more ?

5.51 is a bummer.

2009-06-24T22:42:00.006+08:00

i dare say; i have issues with technology.
i admit, i'm not the most tech-savvy person around,
and that ultimately proves to be a bummer.
duh.
i can't keep up with the technological advances in modern day living.
i need to be geek-ified.
technology, this is war.

photo-scape.

2009-06-16T01:43:00.001+08:00

i like. (:

.

2009-06-14T01:40:00.004+08:00

we're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.

walter anderson

the calling.

2009-06-13T01:48:00.003+08:00

azuan.

aidil.

good luck bros.

i wish you all the best.

we'll hang out at habib when you guys book out.

H1N1.

2009-06-05T02:39:00.003+08:00

H1N1 a.k.a swine flu. if i could give my two cents worth regarding this seemingly preposterous issue; i think that some guy got really drunk and decided to stick his weeney where it didn't belong; in this case being the rear end of a pig. then he got infected and spread the whole thing without even knowing it. so, the moral of the story is, "do not ever stick your weeney where it doesn't belong".

a celebration of friendship.

2009-06-02T01:32:00.005+08:00

happy birthday hafiz.

2009-05-30T05:19:00.004+08:00

all the best in whatever you choose to do. (:

tell me.

2009-05-29T01:26:00.002+08:00

was it really worth it ?

when we were young.

2009-05-28T00:21:00.004+08:00

i'm the boy that sets your girl on fire.

2009-05-27T04:40:00.003+08:00

baby girl, are you all alone
mind if i ask your number on the cell phone
you like you're in distress
don't worry, i'm the good guy more or less
your smile makes me weak in my knees
you know for you i'd sail the deepest seas
so if it's alright, may i have this dance
cause i don't wanna miss this chance

you know i want you
still you're playing hard to get
you know i want you
yet you're making me sweat
you know i want you
and i'm all set
you know you want me too
so let's skip to the part where we're in bed

the lights are shining
glistening on your smooth feminine skin
you give me signs, you lead me on
you turn me on
i wanna make you mine
cause you're fine like wine
you've got me intertwined

we'll skip to the part where we're rubbing on each other's skin
this is a game where we both win
by the time tomorrow comes
none of these will mean a thing

happy 17th month anniversary.

2009-05-25T01:21:00.000+08:00

2009-05-20T16:31:00.003+08:00

welcome back bro.

random.

2009-05-19T02:45:00.007+08:00

dear diary.

2009-05-14T03:25:00.005+08:00

i miss her.

damnation of the insolent.

2009-05-11T23:55:00.001+08:00

beneath the surface

all the subliminal verses

dangerously played out

salvation never near

save your idiosyncrasies for someone else

apocalyptic, the signs are ominous

judgement is coming

"what have you done?"

demons awakened, from the deepest hell

burning hell fire

raging tides of flames

the fire burns your soul

a pretty sight to behold

banished, damned for eternity

"now tell me who do you serve?"

"my soul is yours to command"

open the gates to damnation

prepare for total annihilation

for this will mark the people's extinction

insolent fools

bow down to me

I AM YOUR GOD

cuteness galore.

2009-05-10T03:13:00.001+08:00

graduation.

2009-05-07T23:56:00.009+08:00

confessions of the foolish one.

2009-05-07T01:14:00.003+08:00

people falling in and out of love. a common phenomenon. how many times have you heard the cliched, seemingly overrated line, "i will always love you" ? suddenly, a few days later, someone has a change of heart. the truth then starts to sink in. you're left all alone. terrified, cold and desperate for the warmth of a loved one. you turn to your friends, they don't seem to fully understand your situation.

you feel depressed, void of all emotions. you contemplate suicide. but decide to inflict pain on yourself instead; by cutting your arm. you feel a little better. the pain from cutting yourself relieves you from the emotional pain you're feeling. but it is only temporary. soon you're back to square one.

you then seriously start to think about suicide. thinking of how life would be better off if you weren't living it. you go up to the highest floor of your flat, take one look down and bid farewell to this cruel world. not too long later, you find yourself laying on the ground floor, with your body twisted in weird ways. so, now you're dead. what next ?

i guess it must be pretty awesome for people to remember you as the person who took the easy way out after a setback; at your own funeral. explain that to the people who cared for you. oh, i forgot. you can't, because you're foolish enough to claim your own life.

have fun being dead.

rain on my parade.

2009-05-06T01:35:00.003+08:00

you held me close
a game we knew one of us would lose
so beautiful, but untrue
innocently betrayed, beautifully played
a suicide of the heart and everything else
dare you say i'm blessed ?
when all that's left is just a memory of what was not to be

so rain on my parade
a masquerade of broken hearts
pop the champagne
the chandeliers are glowing
let's drink to being unaware
that the stars had already faded away
let it rain, let it pour
this was not what i'd asked for

each letter in this song will set me free
i'll take my own hand
i'll save myself when no one else will

curtain call.

2009-05-04T01:08:00.003+08:00

not a day goes by without me thinking of you
it was just me and you on your bedroom floor
you told me of a beautiful fairytale
where i was the moon and you were the sky
now all i've got are blanks which i'm supposed to fill with a verse

so stop,
stop it all
we're never going anywhere with this charade
lies, deceit, the same old story
like a masquerade
so many stories, so little alibis
but at least i tried

stop, drop and roll
you were never in it from the get-go
"let's take things slow"
that all so familiar line
everything was just for show
likke shadow dancing in the hall
you're but a silhouette

3 weeks.

2009-04-30T01:39:00.000+08:00

we'll miss you, bro.

happy birthday murni.

2009-04-28T15:24:00.001+08:00

wishing you all the best in whatever you choose to do. (:

happy 16th month anniversary.

2009-04-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

speechless. (:

happy birthday hasbi.

2009-04-25T06:59:00.008+08:00

wishing you all the best. (:

band of brothers.

happy birthday fiiq.

2009-04-24T02:09:00.001+08:00

wishing you all the best bro. (:

i'm only human.

2009-04-23T00:34:00.002+08:00

i'm not a mind reader - shoot me.

i'm not perfect - kill me.

i'm only human - that's just me.

poppin' champagne.

2009-04-18T01:20:00.002+08:00

life is like a moving train.
you can run away from it but you know damn well that it's gonna catch up on you soon enough.
so why not just take a chair, pop a bottle and watch it come straight at you.

19th.

2009-04-12T04:55:00.004+08:00

happy birthday baby doll.

and may all of your hopes & dreams come true.

doobtootz.

2009-04-11T02:12:00.002+08:00

asyura, a.k.a winx club. the "busy-with-boyfriend" one. 24/7 with mr zully fatty bom bom. (:

ahmad, a.k.a blaze. the "fanatic one". he's absurbly funny all the time. (:

syidiah, a.k.a yaya. the eccentric one. get on her nerves and she might more probably than not tell you off, "ah pala buto ah!". (:

nurzairina, a.k.a noi. the ringleader. no noi, no fun, period. she's always the one cracking jokes and making fun of other people. good times. (:

idham, a.k.a dam dam. the saxaphonist. never in my life had i had a friend who's a saxaphonist. he's the youngest among us and he always ask those funny questions. haha. (:

nadiah, a.k.a nad. the "belo" one. she's always blur and emotional. but we love her. (:

hidayah, a.k.a kak yah. the "old" one. she's the oldest and she can be pretty unpredictable at times. (:

syafika, a.k.a fika kechik. the small but loud yet cute one. often MIA from school. haha. but still, when she's there, she's always fun to have around. (:

i'll never forget doobtootz.

maybe one day we'll hang out again.

till then, i wish every single one of you the best of luck

in whatever you choose to do.

band of brothers.

2009-04-06T01:32:00.006+08:00

al-madinah.

marina barrage.

nice going, hasbi. (:

far east plaza.

cbr 150.

marina barrage.

toyota wish & cbr 150.

whatever happens, we will always remain as

a band of brothers.

cloruro de etilo.

2009-04-02T05:20:00.005+08:00

ETHEYLCHLORIDE

for those who have not yet tried it, i'd recommend it.

it'll cure almost anything.

for a few seconds.

reunion.

2009-03-30T01:10:00.002+08:00

it may have just been months, but you're a bunch i'd remember for a lifetime.

happy 15th month anniversary.

2009-03-24T23:41:00.003+08:00

what more can i say. with each passing day, i feel even more grateful that i have you in my life to share this road that we've come to know as "life". i just can't amount what i feel into words. but for as long as you need me, that's as long that i'll need you. (:

our hero.

2009-03-23T01:33:00.004+08:00

our favourite waiter at habib family restaurant.

oh, his name is raj by the way. (:

superhero.

2009-03-21T03:11:00.008+08:00

numb.helpless.worried.fear.hoping.praying.wishing.

i'm no superhero, but i'll try to be yours.

mars & venus.

2009-03-14T13:29:00.002+08:00

"guys are all the same. they do nothing but break a girl's heart". how many times have we heard that all so familiar line from girls ? all or at least most girls think that all guys are jerks. don't get me wrong, i know that there are guys who are absolute jerks, no question about it. but doesn't that stereotype just puts more pressure on the guys are not in the "jerk" category ? and don't get me wrong though. i don't consider myself an angel of a guy.

and to all the girls who think that all guys are jerks,

what makes you so perfect ?

act appalled.

2009-03-10T00:11:00.003+08:00

what happens when all the happiness disappears ? all the things you have grown to love, just vanished like one of criss angel's illusions. what if the "illusion" was real and you can't make it reappear ? what if the world ended tomorrow ? would you say that you had led a wonderful life ? would you regret because there's some things that you should or should not have done ? and when death came knocking, would be able to stare it in the face and say, "i'm ready." ? think about it, life is simply overrated.

one man drinking games.

2009-03-08T00:45:00.003+08:00

and you said it would be funny
to keep me hanging in suspense
then i'd run over to your house and i'd scale
the chain link fence
that borders your backyard and then i'd climb through your window
and i'd whisper that i love you as you fall out of your clothes
and we'd lay there in the darkness like the dream of you i had
where we captured all the fireflies and knew what time we had
could be counted on our fingertips
that almost made you cry
but you let me hold you tightly as we said all our goodbyes

may i say i loved you more ?

and it must have been an hour
that i clutched you in my arms
and i must have said the right things because you instantly felt warm
and you heard my heart stop beating and you wanted not to cry
as your sympathetic whispers, they told a tale of bad goodbyes
and you swore you heard me laughing and i swore i saw you smile
as the time we've spent together was meant to last us quite a while
as i take this piece of you with me i'll carry to my grave
and knowing that for someone you're an angel sent to save

may i say i loved you more ?

let's drink to memories we shared
down one for all the hopes and cares
here's two for being unaware
that you're gone
because before too long you'll be a memory

one man drinking games - mayday parade

i've moved.

2009-03-05T00:40:00.003+08:00

dear diary, i love her.

a piece of cuteness.

mirah, murni & eeka.

candid ? poor hasbi. haha.

nice going mr sentosa. (:

yellow.

thanks for coming guys. appreciate it truckloads. (:

oh, and a very happy 19th birthday to lala.

way to go bro. now you're like old.

no offence, kak yah. (:

happy 14th month anniversary.

2009-02-25T00:23:00.002+08:00

i.love.you

time-out

2009-02-20T01:32:00.004+08:00

what is the meaning of this simple word ? does it mean a sub-equivalent of a break up ? what actually happens for the person to ask for a time-out ?

he can ask for a time-out for the reason that he needs to think about the relationship and where it is heading. of course you'd agree; you love him and you would want him to be happy. but, what actually is going on in his mind ? is he really thinking about the relationship or is he just trying to find an excuse to break up with you ? why does time-out exists in relationships in the first place ? time-outs are just lame excuses that people make use of to just get away from their partners. maybe there are just but a few exceptions where relationships grow stronger after a time-out. but that's about it.

sometimes, you just have to face the fact; he's just not that into you.

friends.are.loved

2009-02-18T23:11:00.003+08:00

cupid struck, again.

2009-02-15T02:12:00.008+08:00

mirul and his girlfriend. we went shisha-ing together. (:

i got not one, but two watches. thanks hunny. (:

oh, and i got me this cute little thing. (:

mr. men

2009-02-13T02:43:00.003+08:00

There are certain things in life that you will never know. For example, how many stars there really are in the night sky ? Or even if wishes really do come true or is it just mere coincidence ? Maybe we’ll never know at all.

But one thing that we do know that is that we all, as humans, have emotional feelings. Even boys do cry sometimes. It’s just that they tend not to show it. Maybe it’s their larger than life ego, but they just don’t show it (most of the time). They do not want to show their vulnerable side. Boys, or men, believe that they have to live up to their own perceived notion of masculinity; that men don’t shed a tear. But they forget that a man has every right to cry and not feel like a sissy for it. It’s only natural for humans to cry or show emotions; that is what separates us from animals.

Men need to learn the fact that they are also vulnerable at times and that it is perfectly okay to let it show. So men, put that ego aside and show your true emotions.

imagine this.

2009-02-07T20:55:00.004+08:00

you're in a room with somone you don't really fancy. his limbs are all tied up and he's laying flat on a table. what would you do ?

would you cut open his body just to see how a heart really looks like ? would you cut out his tongue, so that he would stop whining ? would you cut off his fingers and toes one by one and while singing nursery rhymes to him ? would you gouge out his eyes and use them for a game of table tennis ? would you consider taking out his intestines just to measure how long they really are ? would you squeeze his "sperm makers" so hard, that they explode ? and, would you do all of that, while he's still laying on the table, alive ?

sadistic, you might say ? it's not. it's just a thought.

miserable at best.

2009-02-05T01:17:00.004+08:00

the worst thing in the world

is seeing the one you love with the one they love.

you always love the one who leaves you

and leave the one who loves you.

stop your crying, your make up is running.

2009-02-02T23:45:00.003+08:00

total.

utter.

disappointment.

the art of letting go.

2009-02-02T00:32:00.004+08:00

the secret for letting go is to go with the flow. don't try to let go. instead, keep holding on. remember how much you love your partner, feel how much you want your partner, feel the gratitude for all the gifts your partner has given you, feel how much you wish you could bring back your partner.

by remembering your partner this way, you're grieving properly. this is how healing takes place. at first, you might feel the loss even more intensely. you may experience a variety of painful feelings: anger, sadness, fear and sorrow. feeling these different painful emotions is actually how we release an attachment. this pain is temporary.

eventually, after releasing an attachment, you may still feel some sorrow when you remember your partner. you will also feel the sweetness of your love and the strength of your spirit. when your heart is fully healed, remembering your partner is no longer painful; instead, your heart is filled with love and peace. this signals that you are ready to get involved again.

hilya farisya.

2009-01-29T22:54:00.002+08:00

that's my niece. and just for the record, she's the most adorable thing ever.

oh, and this is syafika. and today is her birthday.

so, happy 19th birthday fika. (:

happy birthday(s) people.

2009-01-26T23:20:00.002+08:00

i know it's kinda late since we celebrated last friday, but hey, better late than never i'd say. anyway, this celebration was to commemorate asyura's belated (19th jan) and syafika's advanced (29th jan) birthday(s).

we are united in blue.

credits to noi for this adorable and of course scrumpi-licious cupcakes.

doobtootz.

happy 13th month anniversary.

2009-01-24T22:38:00.004+08:00

you are the spark

that ignites the happiness within.

you are the light

in the darkness of my soul.

you are my shelter

from the storm.

you are the fire

that keeps me warm.

you are the angel

sent to shower me with your love.

you are,

my one and only love.

:)I LOVE YOU(:

john.

2009-01-24T22:22:00.003+08:00

have you ever out of love ? and found yourself in depressive anxiety ? sure, you'd say that love come and go and you could always find another. but how deep does it really affect you ?

John was like any regular student; he goes to school every day and never gives the teachers any problems. He got straight A’s for all his tests and exams. He was, some might say, a teacher’s pet. He has a normal family, all of whom cared so much about him.

One day, while in history lesson, his eyes stumbled upon the most gorgeous and sparkling pair of eyes he had ever seen. Those eyes belong to a girl named, Hailey. She was a new student who had just transferred to the school. After the formalities of introduction, she went to join the class for the lesson. John was captivated by her. The way she walked, talked and even up to the way she sneezed. Hailey and John soon became friends as a result of the countless projects they had to do together. They soon realized that they have more in common than they thought.

Gradually, they got closer up to the point when they both knew they liked each other more than just as group members. They got together and it was quite a public affair as every one in the class knew about them being together. John’s perfect life has just got more perfect, or so he thought.

After being together for a while, 4 months and 3 weeks to be exact, Hailey abruptly asked for the dreaded cliché of a break up. John was dumbfounded. He didn’t understand the meaning of it all. Everything was going so well between them. But why did it turn out to be this way? He had obviously no choice but to agree to it; what’s the point in being with someone who didn’t love you anymore. And so, the relationship ended there and then.

Soon enough, the news of the break up spread like someone winning American Idol. But the strange thing is that, John was taking it quite calmly. He seemed perfectly okay on the surface. His grades were not in the single bit affected at all. His friends thought that this was a good thing instead of the usual breakdowns after breakups. So they acted as if nothing had happened.

However, John’s friends did not really know how he felt deep inside him. He was hurting like he has been shot by a bullet and the wound would always stay in him and hurt him all the time. He would always try to let his teacher know through his essays. But his teacher never really paid much attention to the hidden meaning behind John’s well written essay.

Take a look at this, “I feel so claustrophobic in this tiny little room I’ve been reverted to... maybe today I shall fly high into the sky, with wings wide open and eyes staring down onto earth. With the clouds above me, I shall truly believe that my life is a movie and I’m the director; calling out cut”. “Isn’t it just magnificent; the boy’s imagination and grammar?”, the teacher said to his colleague.

As soon as he said that, they both heard a loud thump just downstairs.

boy, girl.

2009-01-23T00:46:00.004+08:00

Boy: I saw her today.

Girl: I saw him today.

Boy: It seems like it's been forever.

Girl: I wonder if he still cares.

Boy: She looks better than before.

Girl: I couldn't stop staring at him.

Boy: I asked how things are going.

Girl: I asked about his new girlfriend.

Boy: I'd pick her over any girl I'm with.

Girl: He's probably really happy now.

Boy: I can't even look at her without crying.

Girl: He couldn't even look at me.

Boy: I told her I missed her.

Girl: He didn't mean it.

Boy: I meant it

Girl: He doesn't mean it.

Boy: I love her.

Girl: He loves his new girlfriend.

Boy: I held her for the last time.

Girl: He gave me a friendly hug.

Boy: Then I went home and cried.

Girl: Then I went home and cried.

Boy: I lost her.

Girl: I love him.

one.

2009-01-21T21:58:00.005+08:00

here's a little something for that beautiful

girl in the picture.

love,

i see forever in your eyes.

i can see heaven in your smile.

and when i hold you close,

i don't wanna let go.

because deep in my soul,

i know girl,

that you are the only light i see.

your love means eveything to me.

i know that we will never part.

cause you'll always be near,

here in my heart.

if the sun should refuse to rise.

and the moon doesn't hang on the night.

the tides won't change,

seasons rearranged.

when the world is through,

i will still love you.

if anything could last forever,

it's what i feel for you.

you touched my heart in ways,

that words could never say.

that's why i'll always love you.

finally.

2009-01-21T20:07:00.009+08:00

change has come,

or so the man they call Barack Obama says so.

he is now officially the most powerful man

in the whole universe,

being the new president of the united states of

America.

the whole of America awaits eagerly

to see the "change" that Obama

is going to bring.

but is he really up for the major task ahead of him ?

he takes charge of the country when

there are wars and

major recessions affecting the world.

maybe only time will tell

what the future holds for the new president.

till then,

let us rejoice at the end of the Bush era.

p.s. : say NO to wars.

reborn.

2009-01-21T00:52:00.004+08:00

hello one and all,

you silly people of earth.

i am the new kid on the block.

a blog virgin, some might say.

i am kinda outdated with anything involving technology.

so, yea.

oh, credits to miss hizwani

for creating my very own blog. (:

cheers to you all.